The Spark_What does death feel like? Read online

It was so tempting to do something stupid, with Faye beaming in the dark like she was the only thing that mattered, because she was the only thing that mattered, but then the thunder crackled again and Amethyst’s mum was grabbing their arms, yelling something about getting in the car quick before they were too soaked to salvage their clothes.

  “Are you wanting a lift home?” Rida asked Faye through the rear-view mirror, using a hand towel she kept in the car for the neighbour’s dogs to dry her pony tail.

  “No,” Amethyst answered for her, “She’s staying at ours tonight.”

  “If that’s okay.” Faye added, always the polite one in their relationship. She gave Amethyst a scathing look, to which Amethyst replied with a stuck-out tongue.

  “It’s always okay.” Rida laughed as she pulled out of the car park, her beat up Volvo a stark contrast to the police van she usually drove around, “You may as well move in with the amount you stay over.”

  “Now there’s an idea.” Amethyst said, knocking along to the beat of the radio on the glass of the window, her right foot propped up on the cup holder between the two front seats.

  “Don’t think my dad would like it.” Faye gently kicked at Amethyst’s calf, giving her a small smile when she turned her attention to the girl. Amethyst smiled back, resting her head on the window as to get a more comfortable angle to gaze at Faye as she spoke to her mum all the drive home.

  CHAPTER TWO

  After a weekend of eating crap and doing nothing but watching movies, Amethyst wasn’t exactly feeling herself come Monday morning. Despite being ‘super-human’, as Faye liked to call it, her digestive system still didn’t agree with dairy. It just really liked protein. We’re talking pigging-out-on-raw-meat-near-the-full-moon level of liking protein.

  Her stomach groaned loudly in the middle of history, and churned like a cement mixer all the way through Maths. As if A Levels weren’t hard enough, Amethyst’s body was rebelling against her like she had done something awful in a past life. It wasn’t the best feeling. Soon the pain in her stomach travelled up her spine and made her light headed, her breathing heavier and vision cloudy. During fourth period, Amethyst had to bite down on her pencil so hard it broke to stop herself from yelling out at the pain of it. She would get stomach aches often enough when she was stressed, if exams were coming up or some sort of course work deadline. None of those were soon. The sickness felt like her nerves ten times over.

  “Are you okay?” Dylan Emerson, of all people, asked her from his place two seats over. His dirty blond hair was falling over his face, and no one told him off for wearing a blue waterproof jacket indoors because he was the school golden boy. Perfect at sport, perfect in class, perfect with people. If he had bothered to notice the sweat dripping down Amethyst’s face and the barely hidden grimace in her expression, then it clearly wasn’t good.

  “Fine.” She managed to push through gritted teeth, taking deep breaths through her nose as if that would help at all. The feeling bubbling underneath all the sickness was terrifyingly familiar. As the two-hour lesson wore on, Amethyst realised what it was. It was the same feeling she got on the full moon. With that revelation, came a stabbing pain in the middle of her spine, and she would’ve thought it was snapping in two if not for the fact that she wasn’t dead.

  With the pain, the sickness, the headache, and her fear of turning in front of everyone, Amethyst didn’t have the strength to stop herself from yelling out in pain. She pushed her stool away with the back of her thighs and tried not to rip her blazer as she took it off because of the sudden wave of heat that swept across her body.

  “Amethyst-” Someone was talking to her, a distant voice, an unimportant one. Amethyst didn’t respond, all she could do was scrape at the floor she hadn’t even realised she had fallen to, groaning in pain as she tried to stop the inevitable.

  “Everybody out!” Mr Gray yelled, “We need to get matron.”

  “No!” Amethyst shouted, not wanting anyone brought in that didn’t need to be there. Who knew what she would do? The one side of herself Amethyst didn’t trust was the wolf. Though Faye tried to hide them, Amethyst knew she had bruises after every full moon, despite how careful they were. If she could do that to Faye, then no one else was safe around her.

  “You need the nurse.” This voice was closer, and Amethyst managed to open her eyes, pushing back the burning and trying to see through the mist over her eyes. Dylan’s hands were hovering in front of him as if he wanted to touch, to check Amethyst for injuries or help her up. The instinct to growl at him, to get him away, was nearly strong enough for her to give in. She didn’t.

  “Panic attack,” Amethyst said, hoping it came across as the explanation she meant it to be, and not as the bald-faced lie it was. Dylan frowned, but looked to Mr Gray instead of immediately disagreeing, “Faye,” Amethyst said, “Get Faye,”

  “Faye?” Mr Gray asked, his voice closer, and Amethyst realised her eyes were closed again. Using all her strength, she pushed herself onto her knees, then shuffled back so she was leaning against the wall, holding her stomach, and keeping her spine still so the pain wasn’t as blinding.

  “Faye Weber,” Dylan said.

  “She’s in M8.” Amethyst gritted her teeth, holding back another shout. If she yelled out in pain, or held her stomach too obviously, it would become apparent that this wasn’t a panic attack at all, but something much worse. That wasn’t an option.

  “Go get her,” Mr Gray clicked his chubby fingers and Dylan nodded, then got up and ran out of the room like a man on a mission. Amethyst rolled her head back and stared at the ceiling, wishing this was a dream and that she’d wake up with Faye beside her, knowing she had to go to school but not minding because of the warmth Faye radiated, calming and anchoring.

  Her breathing grew patchy, and there was a stabbing pain in her stomach. She looked down to see distinct claws almost ripping her shirt and piercing her skin. Quickly, Amethyst moved her hand away and sat on it, jostling her back and making her groan again. Mr Gray was in front of her, on his knees, probably trying to say soothing things but unknowingly putting himself in danger.

  “Amethyst!” This voice was crystal clear in a world of blurred lines.

  “Faye?” There were hands on her face, pain in her back, side, and stomach, but the hands felt right. They felt like home, “Faye.”

  “I’m here.” Faye’s eyes were so blue in the fog, headlights showing Amethyst the way back home.

  “Hurts.” Is all she said, and Faye nodded.

  “I need you guys to get out.” Faye said without looking behind her, “She needs space.”

  “Come on,” Mr Gray said, and Dylan seemed to protest, but Amethyst wasn’t listening. All she could see was blue.

  “Do the-” Amethyst swallowed, her throat dry and tight, “Do the thing you do on the full moon.”

  “You think you’re turning?” Faye’s eyes widened, and Amethyst nuzzled into her right hand, hoping the warmth of it would sap away the growing pain. She had never held out for so long, but it must be because it wasn’t a full moon. Otherwise Dylan and Mr Gray would probably be dead.

  “Do it.” Amethyst murmured, screwing her eyes closed as another wave of pain overcame her.

  “I-”

  “Please.”

  “Remember?” Faye started talking after taking in a deep breath. Amethyst focused on her heart beat as well as her words, “Remember when we were younger, you used to hold my hand whenever you were scared? I used to tell you that I could give you my strength, that I had the power to transfer it between us. Then when I was scared, you would hold my hand, tell me to take your strength because I needed it. Remember- remember when I gave you that bracelet for your eleventh birthday when no one showed up to the party? I told you that it would give you my strength whenever you needed it. Even if I wasn’t there. Remember?”

  “I remember.” Amethyst frowned, her breathing still heavy and stilted, but her stomach pain easing slightly.

  “You alwa
ys tell me to be strong, to hold on to what strength I have. Once we were old enough for you to know all of it was lies we still held hands whenever we were scared and we still do.”

  “I know.” Amethyst looked at her hand, which was against Faye’s chest without her knowing it, feeling her heartbeat beneath her fingertips. Faye’s hand was on top of her own, holding it down, the callouses from playing so many sports pressed hard against the back of her hand.

  “Remember that feeling. Every time we’re together and we share our strength. Because we still do. Maybe we do have that power, who knows? You have my strength, I have yours, we are each other’s strength and I need you to come back to me. Be strong, Amethyst,” Faye’s heart beat was steady under her palm, her chest rising and falling with every breath like a metronome. Amethyst closed her eyes, focusing on that, trying to take strength from it like Faye said, “Come on,” Faye said, “Come back to me, A.”

  “Ugh,” All strength seeped from Amethyst, along with all the pain, and she slumped forward, her head falling onto Faye’s shoulder, “Ow.”

  “There she is.” Faye said, running her fingers through Amethyst’s knotted hair.

  “You have to do that every time?” Amethyst asked, slightly muffled by the material of the hoodie that Faye should not have been wearing over her uniform.

  “It’s usually a different story.” Faye said quietly, and Amethyst lifted her head so she could look the other girl in the eye. There was fondness there, and something else that she couldn’t quite place.

  “What story?”

  “I’ve told you it every month, and you don’t remember?” Faye teased with a roll of her eyes. Amethyst could tell that it was a distraction from the topic, but decided not to chase after the answer. It wasn’t often Faye became uncomfortable with Amethyst, so she didn’t want to push and make it worse.

  “We should probably get the class back in.”

  “I’ll take you to the nurse.” Faye got up and held out a hand for Amethyst, who took it gladly and pulled herself to her feet, brushing off her black trousers, “You can have some paracetamol for the headache I know lingers.”

  “Stop reading my mind, creep.” Amethyst grabbed her blazer and pulled it on before following Faye out of the room, avoiding the curious gazes of her classmates. She didn’t notice how Dylan didn’t look away until the two girls disappeared around a corner, a frown settled between his eyebrows.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Time to think, that was what Amethyst needed.

  Something was going on, but it wasn’t supernatural.

  Despite Rida’s promise, they had never talked about what had her held up at the station. Work, school, life. If her worried look when Amethyst left was anything to go by, it was a talk that had to happen sometime soon.

  Leaves shook and rustled in the trees above Amethyst, reminding her of the sharp wind pulling at the jacket around her shoulders. This wood was eerie enough during the day, but at night it was downright terrifying. Honestly, she didn’t even know why she was here. There was something pulling inside her, something familiar but strange, telling her to follow it.

  Earlier, she had been laid in bed, on her phone, when before she knew it she was putting on her shoes and sneaking out of her window, so her mum didn’t worry.

  So, Amethyst walked. For twenty minutes now, she had been wandering aimlessly, but somehow with purpose, growing colder by the second and wishing she had brought more than just a flimsy denim jacket.

  The pockets offered no warmth. After years of wear, they had so many holes in that they didn’t even function as pockets anymore. All they were was decoration. Like most pockets on female clothing, really.

  Caught by a sudden shiver, Amethyst stopped walking, looked around, and felt trembling low in her gut. Something was wrong. It was like the wolf inside her was pleading for her to run, but also readying for a fight. Even after a year, Amethyst was no better at interpreting what it was thinking. All she knew for sure was that it was definitely a bad decision to trust her gut and come out into the woods late in the evening.

  The instinct to shout ‘Hello?’ or something equally stupid was strong. Amethyst had seen horror films, had heard Faye complain about their mistakes enough to know that making any kind of sound was probably a mistake. Then again, so was being here in the first place. Faye would kill her for this later.

  Without thinking about it, Amethyst was walking again, in a different direction this time, but not towards home. It felt like she was walking towards something. That feeling you get when you’re at home and swear you hear creaking upstairs, but logically know there’s no one there? This was the complete opposite. No creaking, but someone, something, somewhere.

  The steps Amethyst traced seemed all too familiar, and she was suddenly struck with the memory of a year ago, walking through the woods, hearing a noise, running through the woods, being chased, falling, crying out, bleeding out, screaming.

  Someone had carved their initials into a tree to Amethyst’s left, and she ran her fingers over them.

  CH

  +

  TL

  The thought of ‘Captain Hook + Tiger Lilly’ ran through Amethyst’s mind and she laughed slightly, knowing how ridiculous that was. These were real people. They had come out to the woods, and were so sure they would always be together, in any form, that they carved parts of themselves into a tree. Amethyst was sure the tree wasn’t too happy about it.

  “Pathetic, isn’t it?” Amethyst whirled around, eyes widening, trying to see who spoke through the darkness. She didn’t speak out, which was also horror movie 101, “Came this deep into the forest just to deface nature.”

  Amethyst swallowed. The voice was on the other side of her now, as if whoever was speaking was circling her. Their voice was gravelly, but distinctly female, with a tilt of a French accent that Amethyst would’ve found beautiful if it weren’t disembodied.

  “Amethyst,” The voice grew deeper, almost a growl, “Don’t you ignore me, now.”

  “Sure.” Amethyst said, turning her head in the direction the voice came from this time, directly in front of her. The fear in her chest pumped adrenaline around her body, ready for a fight or flight response. There was a growl low in her throat.

  “Better,” The voice came from her right, “Much, much better.”

  “What do you want?” Amethyst asked, hoping her voice sounded steadier to the stranger’s ears than it did to her own. Her fists were clenched at her sides, blunt fingernails digging into her palms to stop herself from shaking. Never show fear. Never tremble.

  “Your undivided, absolute attention.” A figure stepped out from the shadows, features only just visible in the moonlight. Her skin was dark, and her features sharp, cheekbones and a nose that could probably pierce skin if she tried hard enough. A crudely cut T Shirt hung from her slim shoulders, only coming to midway down her torso. Leather pants clung to the woman’s thighs and calves, trousers that were probably a bit too young for her. She looked at least 30, with a womanly figure and a cruel smile on her thin lips that seemed practised. Deep brown hair stopped just above her shoulders, and her unnaturally golden eyes almost glowed in the darkness. Something about her was terrifying, but Amethyst couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

  It made her want to run.

  “You have it.” Amethyst said, jaw clenching, fingernails finally piercing her skin. The woman tilted her head, smile growing as her eyes flicked down to Amethyst’s hands like she knew what just happened.

  “Wonderful.” The woman stepped forward, held a hand out, and tipped her head down almost condescendingly in greeting, “Kamini, at your pleasure.”

  “I would introduce myself,” Amethyst took her hand hesitantly, surprised at how cold it was, “But you seem to already know my name.”

  “Correct, little one.” Kamini let go of Amethyst’s hand after a firm, too firm, hand shake, her expression wiping clean.

  “You’re barely taller than me.” Amethyst looked the woman in
front of her up and down, then her eyes caught on her feet. No shoes, bare feet, no signs of pain. Her eyes slowly dragged back up to Kamini’s face, which hadn’t changed, still perfectly blank.

  “I have a question,” The last word sounded strange in her accent, her lip curling around it uncomfortably. She stepped closer to Amethyst, causing her to step back and bump into the tree, trying hard to not show any reaction to the pain of her back colliding with it, “A simple question, little one, you should be able to answer.”

  “You stalked me for a question, Kamini?” Amethyst asked, maintaining eye contact with the woman no matter how much fear it poured into her. The eyes screamed familiarity but Amethyst would have known if they had met before. She would’ve remembered Kamini.

  “Stalked,” Kamini’s mouth twitched, “Like an animal stalks its pray?” She clucked her tongue, her fingertips tracing over Amethyst’s neck, “Like a wolf.”

  “A wolf?” Amethyst asked, and Kamini’s eyes moved slowly up her neck and to her face, her fingertips still trailing, leaving an uncomfortable feeling behind, like a non-existent slime Amethyst wanted desperately to wipe off.

  “Chatty.” Kamini leaned in even closer, her breath skipping over Amethyst’s skin like a ghost. She turned her face away, staring off into the woods and holding her breath.

  “Ever heard of personal space?” Amethyst tried to pull away when Kamini’s nose touched her cheek, but the woman’s fingers curled around her shoulder painfully.

  “Don’t,” She growled, fully, like an animal, and Amethyst immediately stopped moving, “You must respect me.”

  “Why?” Amethyst turned so she was face to face with the woman again, meeting her eyes finally, trying not to flinch when they were filled with rage.

  “I am your maker,” Kamini’s hand moved unceremoniously to push at Amethyst’s neck, making her heart quicken and eyes widen. Slowly, she pushed so Amethyst’s head was pressed against the tree and their noses were almost touching, “Your master.”